Idealistic Me

The train chugs along
and my mind chugs at its side.
I glance to the lights and sounds
Of the early morning of the bay
and am reminded of another
way of life

In place of the city glow,
the ground is lit up as
each star laces and tangles into
an intricate patchwork
above my eyes.

The ground is crisp and fragile
and my body numbs in the cold.
But the warmth of the town
draws and keeps me in-
the artificial warmth of the city
has nothing on this place.

As I find my way through
the stars and the cold and
the trees and the hills,
the small town life
embraces my heart.

I miss my city,
but where I once breathed and
felt exhaust, I now taste
air of pine and new life-
paced.

It's strange to have been raised
with nothing but this city
with its harsh lights and loud nights
and to realize that your heart
wants more than all it can offer.

Nothing of material or activity,
but something less tangible:
community and nature,
opportunity that's peaceful.

It's not about going back,
nor about running away;
it's finding my home
in my own little way.

And maybe I'll be wrong;
maybe the stars will fall on me
as I spend these new nights alone.

And maybe I'll break again,
as the small town limitations
suffocate me in a guise of warmth.

But how can I know,
how can I put to peace my dreams
if I don't go
and let them be?

My mind reinhabits itself
and I look around my school
and this city.

I see friends and a view.
I see plans suddenly anew.
I see hope in both places
and though it confuses my musings
I resign myself to happiness.

Copyright 2009, Colleen Sarah Rice